I wrote a letter of condolence to the widow of a priest I worked with many years ago.
"One thing I have valued over the years may surprise you. Denis had what I then found to be an infuriating habit, when discussing things in a meeting, of rehearsing how part of him thought and felt this, whilst another part of him thought and felt that. With the impatience of youth I often wanted to make progress by asking him to come more quickly to the point, but thought better of it. I later came to appreciate that this way of speaking may have come from his counsellor training and I found, and find, it a liberating way of talking especially about more personal things. Through it you can own thoughts and feelings you do not like and would certainly not wish to act upon. A part of me says ‘this’. A part of me says ‘that’. Thanks Denis."