Dying is a bugger.
It is unpleasant. It often involves discomfort. It is the loneliest experience you will ever go through. It is heart-breaking for you and your family.
It is a real bugger.
But let us not sweep it under the carpet and rush you off to the hospice where death can be processed and packaged. Out of sight. Out of mind.
Hospices remove death from life. They sanitise it. We have already removed birth from life in the UK. Obstetric medical services are currently set up so that no one in their right mind has a home delivery. It does not have to be like that. Now the same is happening to death.
Be realistic about dying. It is not pleasurable. It is not fun. There may be some physically painful times, though these can nearly always be controlled medically. There will be some emotionally painful times. These can not be controlled so easily. You will be sad. You will be lonely. Ideally, you will be at home, surrounded by your family, supported by the family doctor, the district nurses, the Marie Curie nurses and the local vicar or priest. If that is not possible, you will be in the hospice.
There will be some bad times. Times of deep sadness and despair. There will also be some good times, some quality times. Not in any transcendental and philosophical way, but in terms of precious time spent with family and friends.
Whatever else is going on, that is too good to miss. Do not throw it away. And do not ask me to help you throw it away.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Dying is a bugger
NHS Blog Doctor has this to say: